How to Welcome New Faculty with Children: Three Tips

There has been a lot of talk going around the Internet lately about how difficult it is to be a parent – particularly a mother – and an academic. A recent article even called having a baby a “career killer” for women.

As many of you know, I have three school-aged children and I don’t think it is that difficult to be an academic and a mother.

On a research trip with my 3 kids

Nevertheless, in the spirit of offering practical advice instead of entering into a debate about whether or not it is possible to be a good professor and a good parent, I would like to offer some suggestions for how faculty members can make life easier and more pleasant for new parents who join their departments.

Hiring new faculty is one of the most important investments that a university and a department make. Thus, when you learn that a new faculty member has a child or children, it is in your interest to make sure that the transition is as smooth as possible and to cultivate a family-friendly environment for the new faculty.

Tip #1: Introduce them to other parents

Find out how old the faculty member’s children are and introduce them to other people with children in the same age range. There may not be anyone in your department that also has a two-year-old, but you can ask around and find out if someone in another department also has preschoolers. It is important for parents to meet people who have children the same age as their children so that they can share information about schools, activities, and events. If they get along, they may also organize playdates or become good friends.

To introduce the new faculty to others with children of the same age, you could just put them in email contact. It is important to do this before they move into town, such that they can share information about childcare and schools before they move. Once the new faculty member is in town, you could invite them all to lunch or coffee. Or, if you are going to organize a welcoming event for the new faculty, be sure to invite faculty from other departments who also have children. It is very helpful for new faculty to make connections with other faculty members who are also parents.

As I write this, I realize that this advice may be particular to people who live in college towns. However, even when I was in Chicago, it was helpful for me to meet other faculty who had children. We may not have had many playdates because we lived far apart, but we did share experiences and it was important for me to be connected to other parents.

Tip #2: Keep their schedules in mind when planning events or meetings

People who have children often have them in some sort of care arrangement that ends around 5pm or 6pm and is exclusive to weekdays. Keep this in mind and avoid scheduling meetings after this time or on the weekends.

If your department has an annual retreat on the first Saturday of the semester, consider moving it to a weekday. If that is not possible, make sure you talk to the new faculty member to help them figure out care options. Keep in mind that if they just moved to town, they likely do not know anyone they feel comfortable leaving their child with for an entire day. If they are a single parent or have a spouse who is traveling or working on that day, they may simply be unable to attend a Saturday event.

If your department has a tradition of evening or weekend events, think of ways to make those events family-friendly. Faculty members can seek out baby-sitters on occasion to evening attend events, but, we’d often prefer not to. Usually, we have children because we actually want to spend time with them. Therefore, if there are ways to make events family-friendly, think of ways to do so.

Some of your events may already be family-friendly, for example, if you have a yearly welcoming picnic, let new faculty members know they are welcome to bring their children.

If you have an annual faculty dinner, think of ways to make it family-friendly. One way to do this is to have the event at a faculty member’s home and hire a babysitter who keeps the small children in a separate room. Alternatively, have the event earlier in the day and have it in someone’s backyard where children can run freely. Be sure to note that children are welcome on the invitation.

Tip #3: Never Insinuate That Being a Parent Makes Professors Less Valuable or Productive

Having children does not automatically make a person a less valuable or productive professor. There may be a “motherhood penalty” but that is due to unfavorable policies and practices, not to the simple fact of having children.



If your department is not family-friendly, then, yes, having children will make your colleagues less productive. But, that is because your department or university has failed to provide a structure that facilitates their success, not because they chose to have children.

It is true that parents of small children have to attend to their children. They need to pick up their kids from daycare at 6pm and they need and want to spend time with them on the weekends. However, if their children are in full-time care, which generally runs from 7am to 6pm, Monday to Friday, they have plenty of time to be productive during that time period. Some of us even do extra reading or other work in the evenings once the children go to bed. We may even respond to emails while holding a baby. It is certainly possible to be a parent and a productive academic, so never assume that it is not.

I have already written extensively about how academics can be productive by working forty hours a week. As parents, many of us have no choice but to figure out how to do this – to be productive within the time that we have.

So, remember to think of your new colleagues with children as a wonderful asset to your department. And, make them feel welcome. That way, the tremendous investment the university has put in them through their hire will be sure to pay off.

Professors who are parents: What are your ideas for things departments can do (or should not do) when welcoming new faculty who are parents?

Academic Parents Need to Have Fun Too

Similar to many academics, I live in a small college town in the middle of nowhere, or at least that’s how it seemed when I first moved to Lawrence, Kansas. I since have discovered that there are in fact smaller towns that are even more isolated. Nevertheless, one of my primary concerns when I moved to Kansas was the boredom and isolation I anticipated. Five years later, I am happy to say that I have a reasonably full social life and plenty of great friends.

However, it has not always been this way. I first had to learn what did not work. I also had to learn that it is feasible to be productive, spend time with your family, and enjoy life as well. One way I have been able to do this is to seek out other academics with children with whom I can both be productive and enjoy life.

One thing I have learned is that I cannot rely on social events organized by my child-less colleagues for entertainment. My husband is not an academic, so he finds many functions with only academics to be boring. Many of my colleagues would prefer that I not bring my children to their houses. Because my husband would be bored and my children potentially unwelcome, I often go to these events alone. These get-togethers can be intellectually stimulating, but the people involved often end up talking about work most of the time and fail to provide for much relaxation.  I do attend these events, but don’t rely on them for filling my social life.

Another thing that has not worked so well is to try and have a night on the town with my husband by traveling to Kansas City, which is 45 minutes away. This tactic turns out to be pretty expensive, once we pay for a babysitter, dinner, drinks, etc. Moreover, we unfortunately have had little success finding venues that we both enjoy in Kansas City. We still go to Kansas City, but we usually go as a family during the day or alone, me with my friends, or him with his.

One strategy we have found to be much more enjoyable is to invite a few friends over to break bread with us. Our house parties are very informal, and we often organize them at the very last minute. This past Sunday, for example, turned out to be a beautiful early November day. I called a few of our friends who have children and invited them over. Our three daughters always insist that we invite people who have children to our parties. An all-adult party would be very boring for the kids, and they wouldn’t let us enjoy ourselves. Also, parents with young children often appreciate going to parties where they can bring their kids. Everyone can have a good time because their kids will be occupied with playing with our children and toys. Having an informal gathering such as this at our house at least once a month ensures that our social life is never dull. Of course, we are always happy to attend such events at others’ houses.

Another way that we enjoy ourselves is to go out to dinner with friends who also have children. We usually pick an informal place that is more likely to have food that children like, such as pizza, chicken, tacos, or hamburgers. We also had the brilliant idea to put the children at a separate table. This allows us to have an adult conversation while the children sit at another table and have fun giggling and doing whatever kid things they like to do. Because the kids eventually get a bit rowdy, the more informal the restaurant, the better.

As I write these strategies down, I realize that most of them involve hanging out with people who also have children. We do treasure our many childless friends, but have found it very important to ensure that our social life includes other families with children.

In sum, academic parents deserve to have fun too. And, although it would be nice to transform the academy into a more kid- and fun-friendly place, it likely won’t happen before our kids are grown up. So, in the meantime, it is crucial to figure out ways to enjoy life.

I’d love to hear how you find ways to enjoy yours! What are some of the fun things in your life?

Three children and a PhD in six years

I had three kids while I was in graduate school, yet managed to finish my MA thesis and PhD in six years. I think that many of the lessons I learned by being a graduate student with a family continue to be crucial to my success today even though I didn’t exactly plan to have three children before getting my degrees.

I spent the summer after my second year of graduate school with my fiancé in Brazil – learning Portuguese and doing preliminary research on the construction of race in Brazil.

While in Brazil, I found out I was pregnant. Soon after returning to North Carolina to begin my second year of graduate school, I learned that I was pregnant with twins.

My twins were due in March, so I asked my advisor if she could give me a flexible job assignment during the Spring semester. She gently suggested to me that I take the semester off – having twins would be a significant interruption in my life. I had not considered the option of taking a semester off, but decided to ask my mother if I could move in with her for the semester. Taking the semester off meant I would have no income, so I would not be able to afford to pay rent. You see, my fiancé – Nando - was still in South America, waiting to get a visa to come to the United States.

So, I packed up and moved back to my parents’ house in December and got ready for the birth of my twin babies. I took plenty of reading material to prepare for my comprehensive exams (which I never touched). Caring for twin infants turned out to be a lot more work than I expected!

As I was unemployed and uninsured, I was eligible for the state health insurance, so I did not have to worry about the costs associated with the birth of my twins. As a person who strongly believes in universal health care, I was all too happy to have state-financed health care, even if it was just for a few short months. Plus, technically, I paid for it, with all the taxes I have paid over the course of my life.

Nando’s visa finally came through and he arrived in time to witness the birth. Luckily, he also was able to get a job so that we would have money to buy diapers and other essential items for the babies. With generous friends and family, however, we did not have to buy much. When the twins were five months old, in August, we made our way back down to North Carolina, and I began my third year of graduate school.

Nando and I agreed that I would go to school and work each day from 10am to 3pm and that he would stay home with the children. At $1,000 per child for month for daycare, we figured it was better for Nando to stay home and take care of the babies. Plus, we thought it would be a wonderful opportunity for our twin daughters to bond with their father.

As I had limited time at school each day, I was very focused and was able to complete nearly all of my work between 10am and 3pm. I often had to catch up on reading in the evenings, but I could do that after the babies went to sleep or on the weekends. I defended my M.A. thesis in the Spring and then began to prepare for my comprehensive exams, which I passed the following year.

For me, having my kids in graduate school had several benefits. Firstly, it meant that I was less likely to fall into an existential crisis. As I clearly divided my time between home and school, I had plenty of time when I barely thought about school and did not allow myself to be consumed with the minor crises and daily drama in graduate school. For me, this continues to be a benefit – I rarely talk about work with my husband or children. This gives me an emotional and mental break from work when I am with them. I think that is a good thing.

Secondly, having children meant that when I was at work, I focused on work and did not allow myself to spend hours chatting in the hallway about random topics or gossiping in the computer lab. Of course, it is crucial to engage in dialogue with your colleagues, but my limited time mean that I was judicious with regard to how much I allowed myself to participate in the hallway conversations. Learning to focus and get my work done in a limited amount of time is a skill that has been useful throughout my career.

If you are an academic woman and are considering having children, I think my story points to a few things you should consider.

1) Do you have a supportive partner and/or community? I have the great fortune of having an extremely supportive partner, family and community. A supportive partner is crucial. However, I also think that single mothers and women with partners with demanding jobs can find ways to make sure they have the time they need to get their work done by building support networks.

2) When you have limited time, are you able to focus and get things done? If you have trouble with this, there is no reason you can’t start practicing now. Make a conscious decision to complete your most important tasks for the day between 8am and noon and then reward yourself with an afternoon off. Being able to focus and get things done in a narrow time frame is crucial for being a successful academic parent.

3) Are you comfortable with seeking out help when and where you need it? Delegating tasks can make life as an academic parent much, much easier. Instead of spending hours verifying your bibliography, are you willing to pay a student to do it? If you really need Saturday mornings to catch up on reading, will you be willing to hire a sitter? Instead of poring over Strunk & White yourself, are you willing to hire a professional editor to get your manuscripts ready for submission?

4) Do you have the option of taking some time off or greatly reducing your workload when your baby is born? Having a baby is a tremendous task. Your body needs time to recuperate after the baby is born and it will be months before you get enough sleep. The good news is that all of this is temporary. Nevertheless, the whole process will be much easier if you can take at least three months off after the baby is born. As academics, many of us have the luxury of taking eight months off – if you take off a semester, you also have the summer before or after it. If that is a possibility for you, I highly recommend it.

After my twins were born, I went on to have my third child while I was conducting dissertation fieldwork. But, that is another story!